Scared to Death: Happy Halloween!

Malaga HalloweenTonight is the night of the walking dead!

The streets of Málaga’s historical city centre are going to change; the usual Friday night bar hoppers and trendy clubbers are going to dress up in costumes of ghosts, werewolves, vampires, skeletons  and evil creatures.

OMG, I’m scared to death. Scared to death is a popular idiom which means very, very frightened.

Tonight is the night for me to turn off the lights, lock the doors and hide under my bed while eating garlic. That’s right, although I’m ususally out and about on Friday nights, tonight I’m staying in and if I feel brave I might listen to Michael Jackson’s best tune: Thriller.

If you want to read more about how Halloween is celebrated across the globe, check out The Fairs and Festivals page

British People Love: Danger Mouse

Danger MouseDanger Mouse is the world’s greatest secret agent. He speaks 34 languages fluently, including some extraterrestrial ones. In 1983, Danger Mouse viewing figures hit an all-time high of 21.59 million viewers. Yep, 21 million British people had nothing better to do than to watch a mouse, and his sidekick mole partner, beat up villains and fight for justice.

Furthermore, in my last job I had the opportunity to spend a day at Crosgrove Hall Films, the production company who produced the British children’s animated TV series.  It was not one of my best days because I just couldn’t believe Danger Mouse wasn’t real.

Danger mouse, he’s amazing………….


British Kids and British People who want to make their kids invisible Love: Harry Potter

harry potterHarry Potter is a series of seven epic fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. The series, chronicles the adventures of a young wizard, Harry Potter, and his friends Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, all of whom are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The main story concerns Harry’s quest to overcome the Dark wizard Lord Voldemort, who aims to become immortal, conquer the wizarding world, kill all non-magical people, the muggles, and destroy all those who stand in his way, especially Harry Potter.

Once again my nephews love Harry Potter and they run around the garden waving big sticks in my direction screaming: ‘Janette, Wingardium Leviosa’. And, unbelievably, they are really surprised that I don’t start flying away. They seriously think that these magic tricks would work if their mummy would enroll them at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry so they could practice with ‘proper’ teachers! Yep, it has to be said that I’m green with envy at their unquestioning faith in magic!

Anyway, if you haven’t seen the films or read the books you can watch this 90 second video and get up to speed!

British Children Love: Bob the Builder

bob the builderMy nephew is nuts about Bob the Builder and I can not remember how many times I have had to sing: ‘Bob the Builder, can we fix it? Yes, we can!’.

Suffice it to say, British children love him, but from my point of view, Bob can build himself a boat, get on it and sail away to oblivion.

I hate the BBC for the Bob the Builder TV programme; I hate the songwriters for composing such an annoying theme tune, and I hate all my nephews’ little friends who jump up and down enthusiastically shouting: Janette the TEACHER, can you SPELL it? Grrrrrrrr!!!!!

I am Head over Heels in Love with Málaga

sexohhh_logoI am over the moon because someone has found the Inglés Málaga website by typing into google: ‘Online sex shops in Málaga’. Can you believe it?!

OMG, I’m on cloud 9! Indeed, I am tickled pink! Oh noooooo…. ,now I’m wondering was it me who typed that? Urrrrrrr, No, definitely NOT!  I’m British!
Curiously, my word of the week is: to cheer up and despite the fact I’m still under the weather this has cheered me up a lot!

Yep, what do I keep saying: ”Sex, Power and Money are by far the three most important things in life” So, today, although I have a runny nose and a sexy husky voice, I am feeling all loved up! It’s true, I’m head over heels in love with Málaga!

To cheer up

cheer-upTo cheer up is a phrasal verb which means to make someone feel happy.

The other day a friend tried to cheer me up by sending me this picture. etch a sketchHe said in his email that when he saw this it reminded him of me. And I thought, ok I might not be a technological genius, but seriously, I’m not delusional. I know I don’t have an i-pad and it’s very rare that I run out of wine, so now I’m wondering, was he trying to call me a moron? Furthermore, considering I’ve known him for over 20 years, he knows that all he needs to do to cheer me up is to post me a divorced George Clooney in a flatpack! I’m just that simple!

Pride of Britain: Sharon Gray Head Teacher

Pride of Britain Head TeacherBefore Sharon Gray became headteacher in 2009, inspectors had placed the underachieving school in special measures. Ofsted issued a “notice to improve” when Sharon took the helm, after she pleaded with authorities to give the failing school a chance.

She says: “I promised everyone I could get the school to outstanding. “Many didn’t believe it was possible, but I was determined. I wanted to do it for the children because I thought it’s what they deserved. “I believed it wasn’t them failing, it was the system failing them which didn’t seem fair.”

It was Sharon’s awe-inspiring flair for inventing projects to engage her pupils that helped to change the school around. This year she staged an “alien landing” that involved the whole school in a week-long investigation.
Children and parents arrived one Monday morning in March to find a fire engine and police guarding a large white tent in the school field, with strange sounds and billowing smoke.

The “Look Deeper” project was developed by Sharon with the help of her deputy, and two other staff members.It worked on communication and language skills and it led to excited discussions among pupils about scientific experiments.
Sharon has also encouraged the community to participate in school life, involving parents in developing a school farm, and by issuing shops with “good behaviour cards” which they could hand to well-behaved pupils.
Sharon invented the scheme, the Integrity Awards, to encourage children to behave when there were no teachers looking.

Now, while the majority of children enter the school significantly below national achievement levels, a majority leave at or above the national average, including some who take GCSE maths exams at the age of just 11.

One parent, Gemma Nason, says: “If it hadn’t been for Sharon, my son, who suffers learning difficulties, wouldn’t be in a mainstream school.

This year the school achieved an outstanding Ofsted report.

Champions League: Liverpool Versus Real Madrid

Liverpool v Everton - Premier LeagueEXCITED, excited  – you wouldn’t believe how many ants I’ve got in my pants! 

It’s only 5 and half years since Liverpool royaly kicked Real Madrid in the ass with a 4-0 win, and I am looking for another gigantic RM defeat.

Ok, so Liverpool aren’t on fire at the moment, but butterfingered Casillas has fallen off his perch and he needs to go and coach a kids club.  Of course, I have to admit that CR7 is a footballing genius but I’m still in love with Stevie Gerrard.  I can’t understand a word he says because he’s a Scouser and I’m a Yorkshire lass but you don’t have to speak the same language to fall in love. Come on, just look at his cheeky face and repeat after me:  COME ON LIVERPOOL!

Finally, there are loads of my clients and friends who will think this post is a load of claptrap.  However, I would have to say, very politely because I am British, I’m sorry but you’re wrong!



Pride of Britain: Harley Lane Child of Bravery

Pride of Britain CourageAs little Harley lay and hovered on the brink of death from meningitis, doctors made the heartbreaking decision to amputate his arms and legs to save his life.
Then just a toddler, Harley pulled through and fought back against what could have been a devastating disability with inspirational spirit and determination.

Harley simply refuses to let his missing limbs hold him back in life. The cheeky schoolboy even completed a grueling 1.5km race on his false legs to thank the hospital that saved him.
If you want to read more about this inspirational child, then please click here.

Pride of Britain: Clifford Harding Youth Worker

Britain Pride Youth WorkerAfter nine years without a job, with no purpose and no future, Clifford Harding was facing life as just another unemployment statistic. However, one moment changed his life, and put him on the path to helping other young people from deprived backgrounds.

He has gone on to become a role model for youngsters in his community and developed a truly innovative way of teaching children maths that saw him rapping in the House of Commons. Clifford, who lives in Birmingham, had always found school tough. Suffering from dyslexia, he struggled to keep up with his classmates and failed most of his exams.

He remembers: “I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I grew up in a very strict household, and when I left school with no qualifications or job prospects I rebelled. “I was a bit like a caged animal breaking free and didn’t care that I didn’t have a job.”

As he approached the end of his teens, Clifford’s grandparents and mother sadly died in quick succession. “That’s when things became really bad,” he says. “I wasn’t interested in bettering myself and remained out of work for nine years.”I was causing trouble, getting involved in petty crime, drinking, loitering and smoking.” However, one day his benefits failed to come through – and that is when his life changed forever. He says: “It really upset me. But then I thought, what am I doing waiting for this money when I could get a job instead?”
Clifford managed to secure a cleaning job, and inspired by the big offices he was working in, he started to think about his future. He heard about The Prince’s Trust and made the decision to approach the youth charity for help setting up his own business, which started out as a children’s party company.